Be Here Now

Often I feel trapped by what is not real - sometimes past memories, but mostly imagined futures. It is as if my mind has become so sure of what will occur on each day it robs the day of its possible passion and joy. When I think about today, I don't think about this moment, but what I have to do, and quickly my day is filled in and feels like there are all these obstacles I have to overcome before I can rest and relax.

Today: I know the sun will rise and fall, I have to drive my car in traffic, I have to work, drive home, eat, sleep - and all these experiences will probably be much like the ones I've had before. But I need to shed this predictive process, as it doesn't serve me. I gain little from preparing myself for the norm.

I need to imagine each day as a black void, unpainted, uninhabited, not yet determined. The sun may rise, but its fall might be clouded by an wild storm, a net of crisscrossing brilliant flashes of light. Perhaps there will be no traffic on the road, or if traffic comes to a halt, maybe it will give me the chance to watch two butterflys dance along the median strip

If I was imagine my day as unwritten story, my day could then eventuate in any kind of adventure. In doing this, I leave myself open to not only noticing the adventure when it shows it self, but I'm also free to create and embrace adventure.

I'm really not living in the _now_ enough. As Alan Watts says, life is a musical piece and the point is not to get to the end, its to dance or sing from note to note, from day to day. I'm often doing things for my future self to enjoy, but the future self never seems to sit back and enjoy it - because the future self is too busy thinking about its own future self.

Choice

Today I found something I needed, I had been stuck in a mental rut, trapped. I had forgotten about 'choice' and let myself be at the mercy of the elements, moods to be determined by whatever force pressed upon me. Conditioning had previously been recognised for shaping and controlling behaviour, while an OK excuse for most creatures, I have consciousness - which I believe is there at least in part to over-rule conditioning. Providing a choice.

I had been waiting for something good to happen so I could feel good. Instead I will churn this dullness, this empty space - into something more. It should be simple right?

Seperateness

Alan Watts talks of a notion of seperateness, the feeling of being cut off that comes from myopic attention - where an individual focused on their own boundaries, identifies themself with what is inside, differentiating the self from all that surrounds, leading them to an unsustainable position. As you can not have an inside without an outside, the notion of self can not exist without the contrast of others.

The self is split apart, life is filled with the search for the missing piece, but to obtain it requires no mystic potion or expensive object, because it is always there, waiting to be relaxed into, at the end of every deep breath.

Transreality

My favorite things - a video on "a kind of transreality, a reality beyond reality itself, that you can find in the memory throughout the feelings"



I like how it uses a familiar tune to bind together chaos and create some continuity. The sharp transitions into harmonized pairings of sound and image dip their toes in my emotive well.

Why do we over complicate things?

We are offered a fairy tale, retold in many different forms, we latch onto the pieces that appeal, the formula of the story is always the same, step forward and you will find more, receive more, be awarded more. Without more we are frail and vulnerable. Without more, we are incapable of exposing ourself, as to do so might dissolve what little we have. We have to protect and guard what little we have, till more comes along, then we will engage in life.

But the story neglects to tell us that we don't need more, we are already complete. From here the rest is just an adventure, an adventure as a whole completed being, daring to do what daring should not be required to do, live.

The different visions of life

Wade Davis notes that, all peoples are cultural options, different visions of life. Such that no culture exists above any other, none is more advanced then any other, they simply have different specialisations (technology, enlightement, etc). The Tibetan monks said at one point, "We don't really believe you went to the moon, but you did. You many not believe that we achieved enlightenment in one life time, but we do."

I guess there can be a trap of ignorance, which I succumb to. While I have at times thought there are lessons to be learnt from other cultures, I have never considered them as viable options, as a step forward.

"These myriad voices of humanity are not failed attempts at being you or failed attempts at being modern, they are unique facets of the human imagination, they are unique answers to a fundamental question, 'What does it mean to be human and alive?'" - their answers form a wide repertoire available to be used in the coming challenges of humanity.