Be Here Now

Often I feel trapped by what is not real - sometimes past memories, but mostly imagined futures. It is as if my mind has become so sure of what will occur on each day it robs the day of its possible passion and joy. When I think about today, I don't think about this moment, but what I have to do, and quickly my day is filled in and feels like there are all these obstacles I have to overcome before I can rest and relax.

Today: I know the sun will rise and fall, I have to drive my car in traffic, I have to work, drive home, eat, sleep - and all these experiences will probably be much like the ones I've had before. But I need to shed this predictive process, as it doesn't serve me. I gain little from preparing myself for the norm.

I need to imagine each day as a black void, unpainted, uninhabited, not yet determined. The sun may rise, but its fall might be clouded by an wild storm, a net of crisscrossing brilliant flashes of light. Perhaps there will be no traffic on the road, or if traffic comes to a halt, maybe it will give me the chance to watch two butterflys dance along the median strip

If I was imagine my day as unwritten story, my day could then eventuate in any kind of adventure. In doing this, I leave myself open to not only noticing the adventure when it shows it self, but I'm also free to create and embrace adventure.

I'm really not living in the _now_ enough. As Alan Watts says, life is a musical piece and the point is not to get to the end, its to dance or sing from note to note, from day to day. I'm often doing things for my future self to enjoy, but the future self never seems to sit back and enjoy it - because the future self is too busy thinking about its own future self.